By Passant Hisham

KUWAIT: Standing silently in a room filled with people, where all eyes are only directed toward you, you start wondering if any of them can tell whether you are nervous or not. The truth is, no one can tell, until the moment you set your first words free. You start feeling the anxiety echoing in every part of your body — in your squeaking voice, trembling hands and fluttering stomach. That’s when you realize that you cannot hide it anymore.

This common scenario is experienced by people who suffer from fear of public speaking, according to Anwar Al-Shaikh, a personal coach and founder of a public speaking club. “Humans are naturally born with self-confidence,” she said, adding this mostly appears in how a baby clearly communicates its needs and wants without prejudice or hesitation. It confidently expresses its urge to sleep, asks for its right to play, and even cries for milk. But it’s the external environment that affects this natural trait negatively.

Shaikh said perfectionist parents initiate this negative impact by teaching their children that failing or making mistakes is unforgiveable. As the baby grows up and faces different challenges in life, its fear of failure grows too. Eventually, this confident, outspoken and fully self-expressed child starts losing their innate spark and begins to doubt or second-guess themselves.

Fear of failure, as Shaikh noted, is one of the most prominent factors behind the fear of public speaking. “It makes you end up being anxious about appearing anxious,” she explained. To overcome this issue, she suggested one should accept that failure is an essential part of the process, as experience can only be developed through trial and error. “This experience will never come from your comfort zone; it can only be acquired through putting yourself in challenging and unusual situations,” she said.

Shaikh had always been a shy person — she used to fear the simplest forms of human interactions, such as calling the deliveryman or visiting her relatives. But a major development in her personality occurred after frequent engagement in volunteering activities for non-profit organizations and joining a public speaking club, which she advises people to do as well. Most importantly, confidence alone is not enough without proper practice. Practicing your presentation or public speech is important for captivating the audience’s attention, “especially with the current short attention spans of people”. She said it’s like choosing to add some colors to a mundane black and white picture.

Shaikh suggested practicing some behaviors to master this skill during any public speech. For instance, using your body language to convey confidence, sharing eye contact evenly with the public, maintaining a stable body posture by avoiding rocking back and forth while speaking, and changing your tone of voice differently according to the parts of your speech.

She added that to make a speech as entertaining as possible, one can also rely in their speech on a storytelling approach to narrate their ideas, by beginning the speech with the most interesting part of the story, highlighting a point that everyone can relate to. Maintaining structure for her is an added value. “It’s preferable if you divide your presentation into an introduction, body and conclusion, even if it’s just a two-minute speech.” Moreover, she suggested that in order to not miss any important piece of information, it’s fine to sneak a glance at a paper in your hands that highlights the key points that you want to deliver.

Shaikh believes blending of all these actions together is the best way to give the audience something worth remembering after leaving the stage and walking away. “It will help the message reach people deeply and leave a longer impact on them,” she stressed. Shaikh asserted that public speaking skills are equally important for all fields of work or study. Teachers, coaches, entrepreneurs, bank clerks and front-desk jobs all need it in their professional lives. It’s essential in everyone’s personal daily life as well. “As a mother of two, I notice that when I speak to my children in monotone, they lose interest in what I am saying,” she said.

“Public speaking is more like an art that everyone can develop. Lacking it is a problem, so it all starts with the realization that you have this problem, followed by your tendency to resolve it. A huge shift in your personality will then possibly happen,” Shaikh concluded.