By Majd Othman
KUWAIT: Modern methods of parenting and education usually advise parents to fill their children’s time usefully with activities to develop their skills and not waste their time with useless distractions. But recent report showed that filling in children’s daily routines with activities is not necessarily a good idea, according to clinical psychologist Pascaline Bobinelle.
The report explains that leaving a child alone by himself for a long time without anything to alleviate boredom, is like leaving a blank canvas in front of a painter, to make a painting using his creativity. It shows that boredom is an art —that, children must learn to manage their free time alone and out of their own will.
The child must learn to take the initiative in terms of entertaining himself, not by someone else, as children will face feelings of boredom at school, then at work, and teaching them to deal with it from a young age, rather than raising the level of entertainment, prepares them for a more realistic future, without false expectations about work and life. Even if they are lucky to have a job they love, they may have to spend an entire day doing things they don’t like.
In her book, ‘Daddy, Mommy, give me some time to dream’, EtiBuzyn, a psychologist and psychoanalyst, says that we are in a consumer society influenced by the idea of ??‘more and more’ and this competition pushes us to provide our children with tools and technical knowledge, so that they can deal with exams, higher education and any professional challenges in the future.
She says that, "We are being asked — children and parents — to move from screen to screen, from laptops to smartphones, from TVs to tablets. As soon as we fasten our seatbelts on a long journey, we think of a movie or game, so that our children pass the hours quietly with their eyes fixed on the screen. We lose the ability to turn their attention to something else and to help them choose what they want to do.” The report showed that feeling bored has several benefits for a child’s development.
One of the primary benefits highlighted in the report is that children learn to be creative when they are bored. When the child is kept away from electronic devices, he is forced to be more creative in finding ways to have fun, which would develop a love of discovery, curiosity and research. Secondly, this increases his self-esteem and success in facing boredom, while trying different games and ideas. Third is the ability to dream — when a child misses something in reality, he will resort to creating it in his imagination. This is a necessary routine during which we let the minds of young children create, imagine and experiment and let their ideas be explored.
The report also revealed that the ability to arouse desires and motivation comes with some emptiness and boredom. These develop in the child’s desires and motives and contribute in being aware of these feelings. Lastly, it helps in problem solving and relationship-building. The report showed that a child’s ability to solve problems increases when he gets used to facing boredom alone and seeks to overcome it.
Regarding the way to help children when they feel bored, the report showed that it would be difficult, at first, if the child has been accustomed to organizing all his time. Leaving time for him to do his own work would be difficult. Parents can help the child to think of simple alternatives, and let him walk outside to observe nature and discover details, or give him tools such as a ball, white pages and clay or even socks that he can turn into fun things. The child can also be allowed, for example, to move the furniture in the house and create an empty space to play and then help to return them as they were. The goal is to help them discover the creativity within themselves and let them learn to enjoy the small things in life.