ShareKUWAIT: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is a common saying we often encounter. Although this saying can serve as a motivating belief or a way to encourage resilience, it can also invalidate the suffering experienced by individuals after a traumatic event. This raises an important question: Is it really true that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger? To explore this concept and validate the diverse emotions people may experience after trauma, Kuwait Times conducted interviews with two psychological consultants with different perspectives that can help us better understand the complexities of post-trauma feelings.
In disagreement with this saying, Psychologist Abdullah Bin Hassan explained to Kuwait Times that traumatic events that don’t kill you could still harm you. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a disorder identified by the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual as a pattern following traumatic events, from wars and disasters to less distressing events.
PTSD manifests as a continuous re-experiencing of traumatic events even after they end, and a significant amount of time has passed. It causes individuals to avoid anything related to the trauma, including people, places, sounds, or even smells associated with that memory. “In such situations, individuals adopt coping strategies such as avoidance, excessive anger, generalized anxiety, or may engage in effective strategies like confrontation, seeking therapy, or balancing the trauma of the event,” he said.
Managing trauma
Coming out of a traumatic experience stronger than before is “the exception rather than the rule,” said Bin Hassan. The fundamental principle regarding trauma is that it causes harm to the individual in both the short and long term, except in cases where the person manages to process it calmly, he said. One of the factors that must be present for a person to effectively manage a traumatic experience and emerge stronger is direct psychological intervention.
In addition, effective management of traumatic events requires prior self-work and good psychological conditions in the individual’s life. People who possess high psychological resilience and the ability to think logically and reasonably will be able to process trauma better than those who don’t. Resolving previous psychological issues as they arise, and a relatively sound psychological history are other important factors for managing trauma.
Bin Hassan highlighted a study which suggests that individuals with high emotional intelligence are more likely to choose effective coping strategies, while those who had not developed sufficient emotional intelligence tended to adopt ineffective coping behaviors such as avoidance, escapism, or harmful behaviors. Another study explored the role of social support in individuals’ ability to cope with trauma and found that social support plays a significant role in mitigating the effects of trauma.
Post-Traumatic Growth
Although going through difficult life experiences may seem undesirable, these challenges are an essential part of human development and growth, Psychologist Ali Taresh said. Facing and overcoming obstacles leaves a positive impact on one’s character, making one stronger and more resilient. “Therefore, it can be said that hardships, despite their harshness, serve as life lessons that enhance our abilities and refine our personalities,” he said.
He added that the tough times we endure may seem overwhelming and painful, but they often contribute to shaping our character and provide us with the skills and experiences we need in life.
While dealing with positive situations in life is relatively easy, the greater challenge lies in how to confront and overcome difficulties, he elaborated. Research indicates that tough experiences — such as losing loved ones, professional failures, or even illnesses — serve as opportunities to develop psychological resilience and greater adaptability, said Taresh.
Taresh highlighted a study conducted by psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Joseph Calhoun, where the concept of “Post-Traumatic Growth” emerged. This concept suggests that individuals who endure challenging experiences, often emerge with new inner strength and different perspectives on life. The research demonstrates that challenges can open new horizons and allow individuals to discover new aspects of themselves.
Another study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology found that individuals who go through difficult experiences, such as divorce or job loss, often develop “psychological immunity.” The research indicated that these experiences teach people how to manage stress and develop strategies for coping with future events. Taresh quoted another study which has found that individuals who successfully navigate significant challenges in their lives exhibit higher levels of “psychological resilience”, which helps them face any future difficulties more effectively.
“The saying ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ accurately encapsulates this process of psychological growth and personal maturity. Every challenge an individual overcomes adds to their reservoir of experiences and contributes to building a character capable of facing the future with confidence and stability,” Taresh concluded.
