KUWAIT: In an effort to delve deeper into the dynamics of marital relationships, particularly within Arab societies, Kuwait Times conducted an interview with Psychologist and Relationship Consultant, Amer Al-Shawaf. The focus was on understanding how attachment styles, shaped by personal experiences, societal expectations, and emotional intelligence, influence relationship dynamics and strategies for fostering healthier bonds.
Al-Shawaf highlighted that in Arab cultures, marital expectations are often rigidly defined by personal experiences, resembling guiding principles for couples. The belief persists that adhering to specific behavioral norms is essential for maintaining marital control. However, deviations from these norms may prompt individuals to seek solutions outside the relationship, contributing to relationship strain.
Regarding attachment styles, Al-Shawaf noted, "It became evident that both men and women in these relationships seek to fulfill perceived deficiencies. When these needs are unmet within the relationship, some individuals may seek external sources for satisfaction and fulfillment.” This underscores how attachment styles - formed by early childhood experiences - shape relational dynamics, influencing behaviors and emotional responses within marriages.
Al-Shawaf emphasized the importance of understanding deep-seated needs and their connection to childhood experiences. "By identifying these roots, it becomes possible to reframe behaviors and cultivate healthier relational patterns,” he explained. This approach underscores the role of emotional intelligence and self-awareness in navigating complex emotional landscapes within marriages.
Al-Shawaf explored how avoidantly and anxiously attached partners interact in relationships. He noted a common perception where women are often seen as nagging or complaining - anxiously attached, while husbands may dismiss or ignore their wives’ concerns to stay emotionally composed - avoidantly attached. These behaviors, however, go against principles of emotional intelligence that emphasize empathy, understanding, and effective emotional management in relationships.
Over time, such emotional complexities can create distance and reinforce damaging stereotypes. Therefore, understanding attachment styles offers valuable insights into relational dynamics within marriages. It provides a framework for developing interventions that promote empathy, emotional regulation, and healthier relationship patterns. By addressing attachment-related needs and fostering emotional intelligence, couples can cultivate stronger, more fulfilling relationships.