ShareKUWAIT: Listening to people is their profession, and finding solutions to unresolved mental issues is their responsibility - a weight they carry on their shoulders daily. For once, they are not the ones listening to others, but they are the ones answering questions about how they deal with their emotions, mental stability, and relationships with their patients.
According to psychologist Abdullah Al-Manea, a deep bond is created between a psychologist and their client, inevitably revealing a darker side. “I am not superhuman; how could anyone listen to all the sadness, despair and betrayal endured by others without being affected?” he questioned.
In fact, he believes that anyone who isn’t affected by their patients’ suffering either doesn’t take their job seriously or may have an antisocial personality. “It’s important for every psychologist to see another psychologist,” he stressed, reminding that psychotherapy isn’t just for treating disorders but also for improving quality of life and providing emotional support. Notably, he added: “We’ll always need the help of others.”
Despite seeing hundreds of cases, sometimes psychologists find the issues people face to be extremely traumatic. “We come across problems that we thought only existed in movies,” said psychotherapist Latifah Al-Hadhoud.
She also agreed that psychologists could be the ones who need therapy the most. “As a person who should help people, I cannot do my job properly if I am facing any mental drop myself.” At one point in her life, following the deaths of her husband and her 10-year-old daughter, she took a break from her job for three months and sought talk therapy during this time. “I was never ashamed of this step because we have nothing more valuable than ourselves to protect,” she pointed out.
As much as she loves her job, Hadhoud couldn’t bear feeling unable to support her patients as needed. “I never want to feel powerless in the face of their challenges, as I believe that I was particularly chosen by God to guide them through their tough and long healing journey,” she said. “They come to me with pain, and it’s my duty to meet them with a sense of responsibility.”
For Manea, psychologists must realize that they are not machines. “We reach stages of exhaustion without even noticing, which in turn affects the quality of our work.” He highlighted the need for taking rest and recharging, something that DBT therapist and clinical psychologist Dr Fajer Al-Halban found challenging to manage at the beginning of her career. “Apart from my sessions, some of my patients were calling me every day; some called more than once a day, on weekends and even at dawn,” she recalled. “I suffered from severe burnout back then.”
Over time, Dr Halban began to accept that she had the right to live her life normally, as long as it didn’t endanger her clients’ well-being. She taught them how to become more independent from her when she couldn’t be available, especially in non-urgent situations. “I started working with my patients on safety plans and negotiating emergency contacts for times when I’m unavailable,” she said.
Despite the emotionally triggering nature of their job, they never seem to get tired of listening to people. “I always feel privileged that the patient can speak to me openly from the heart and trust me by sharing things they wouldn’t even discuss with themselves,” Dr Halban said. She is always pleased to discover that she can alleviate people’s suffering “and give them a reason to live”, which constantly reminds her of how noble her job is.
And surprisingly, it’s a two-way benefit: Listening to others’ suffering gives them experience and wisdom to handle their own life problems. Manea summed it up with a well-known saying, “When someone teaches another, they both learn. Likewise, in psychotherapy, both therapist and client experience change.”
